I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
