It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
