if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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