he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
