What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
