Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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