you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
