the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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