im drinking this country out of the recession.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
