I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
