No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
