Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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