Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
