She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
