the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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