so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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