bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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