TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
