So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
