I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
