if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
