North Korea, Best Korea!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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