He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
