wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
