why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
