and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
