im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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