I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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