ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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