just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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