Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
ttyl tear gas
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
