your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
