She is in my trunk
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
