literally had 100 drinks last night.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
