hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
