OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
