dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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