I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
