Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
