dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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