I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
