i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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