I don't usually arrange sex via text message
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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