HIV tests are more positive than that guy
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Randomize
