wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
