you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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