So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
