I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
