i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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