I cockslap morals
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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