he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
