Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
